


Soldiers

by trainerlil



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Manga Spoilers, Reibert - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 05:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1333345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trainerlil/pseuds/trainerlil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What were Reiner and Bertholdt thinking before the Colossal Titan's attack on Trost?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfiction I have written in years! I figured I'd share on here. I want to know more about these characters so I wrote this short little fanfiction to make myself happy. So enjoy! :D

“Reiner!” A boy's voice rang across the barracks beckoning the blonde sitting on the bunk next to him. Bertholdt, his eyes trained on the words of the book he was reading felt his friend straighten and could practically hear the cocky smile.   
“Did you swipe it?” He said, brushing Bertholdt's knee ever so slightly as he hopped off the bunk to greet the boy. Biting his lip slightly to force down the blush that threatened to creep up his neck at the gentle touch, he spied the large, corked bottle that his friend had burst into the room with.   
“I sure did!” Connie said, raising the bottle above his head like some sort of battle trophy and Reiner clapped a large hand down on the smaller boy's shoulder.   
“Good going! Now we can celebrate our graduation the right way.” Reiner grinned, “Go get the other's, we're going to drink like kings tonight! Invite the girls too. It'll be a regular party.” He pushed the boy towards the mess hall and Connie gave a quick thumbs up before scurring off after the rest of the cadets. The large boy then turned to Bertholdt, stretching his arms over his head until an audible pop could be heard. “I can't believe we finally made it, and I made second too!” He said, and rested his eyes on the taller boy on the bunk, “But you did damn good placing third.”   
“Reiner...” Bertholdt whispered and lowered his book next to him, but Reiner ignored the concerned tone in his friends voice.   
“Military police Bertholdt. We'll be soldiers on the inner wall. Living a life of peace. And tonight we'll celebrate with our friends. Isn't it great?” He said, punching the air slightly with a fist, his grin getting bigger on his face.   
Bertholdt slid off the bunk, his feet making little noise as he padded over to his friend.   
“Reiner...please.” He said, looking down at the excited blonde.   
“I can't believe Connie scored some wine. This party will be great, and I wonder if I'll get a kiss from Christa.” He continued excitedly.   
“Reiner,” Bertholdt sighed exhaustedly and clamped his hands on the shorter boy. “Reiner...don't forget what we are.” The blonde tried to pull away, but Bertoldt held tight, making him look up at him. “There is no peaceful life on the inside. You know what we are.” It almost broke his heart to see Reiner's eyes change at that instant. The dissociative episode melting. The grin melting from his face as a shadow fell over his features. Bertholdt wanted to see his friend happy. He wanted to enjoy a night of carefree fun with his fellow cadets. He wanted to be...just human. “You know our mission...what we have to do.”   
“I-I know.” Reiner said, back to reality as he shrugged Bertholdt's loosened grip. He turned away from the taller boy. “I just...wanted to forget.” He started towards the door and Bertholdt's hand darted out to grab Reiner's larger hand. He felt the callouses achieved from training as he squeezed desparately. They stood there like this for a moment. Reiner squeezing back for a brief moment.   
“Bertl...” He muttered before he let his hand leave Bertholdt's. He took a few more steps towards the door and grasped the door jam before turning to cast a look and a sideways grin over his shoulder. “So are you coming or what?” He said before leaving the barracks.   
“Reiner...” Bertholdt said one last time as he felt his heart fall to his stomach. Tommorow. Tommorow they'd have to carry out the next step of this mission. He was worried about his friend. The only person who wouldn't look at him in disgust if they knew. If they knew what he had to do. And even then, it was as if Reiner always forgot. He brushed a shaking hand across his sweaty forhead and let out a wavering breath. He supposed he'd pretend for another night. He wanted to be around friends who still didn't know who he was...what he was. It sounded...nice.   
Steeling up his resolve, he headed towards the mess hall. Towards the noisy cadets celebrating their graduation. For a moment, he'd belong. 

 

Snores could be heard from each bunk in the barracks that night. His friends different levels of drunk finally passed out late in the night. They had duties to attend to in the morning, so the party had to be cut short. Some of the boys were bruised from one of Eren and Jean's usual fights, but all was mended and you could almost feel the sense of relief in the air that night.   
Even Bertholdt had put aside his misgivings and enjoyed himself. Taking to hanging around with Marco and Armin who were placing bets over a chess game while their friend's throwing punches.   
Now, in the quiet of the night, anxiety crept up Bertholdt's throat and soured his tounge. This must be done. He said over and over in his head while he stared at the sleeping form of his friend next to him. He worried for his friends. They were comfortable in their years of peace. He hated to bring this down upon the people he had come to enjoy in the past few years.   
But it had to be done.   
He reached a slow, trembling hand out to the mass of blankets in front of him and slid his hand over the muscled upper arm of his bunkmate. He felt those muscles tense; his friend was not asleep.   
“Mhhm,” Reiner mumbled turning over to face him. Bertholdt twisted his fingers so they grasped the hem of the other boy's sleeve and buried his face into his pillow.   
“I don't think I can do this.” He whispered.   
“You have to Bertl.” Reiner said, his voice barely a breath. “You of all people should understand that we're...warriors...” the word came out choked, like he didn't quite like the taste of it, “not soldiers.” A hand snuck out from under the blankets and gently cupped his chin and Reiner slowly guided his face out from the pillow to bring his eyes to his. “You've reminded me of that. We have to do this.”   
“Tommorow,” Bertholdt whispered, so quietly he wasn't even sure the other boy could hear. “I might end up killing my friends. Massacring a whole city. A mass murderer. I know it has to be done, but how can I live with this? If they knew. They'd hate me.” His long fingers grazed the blondes larger hand.  
A loud grunting and shuffling sounded from a few bunks down. Eren thrashing in his sleep. Killing imaginary titans in his dreams. The thrashing woke Jean in the bunk above Eren and there was a soft thud as a heavy pillow met with the boy's face, somehow successfully quieting him.   
“Dammit Jeager...” Was heard from the top bunk, soon followed by the quiet snores of the room again.   
Bertholdt could see the sad and crooked grin on Reiner's face. A pathetic parody of his regular confidant smile. Slowly, he moved closer to the taller boy and leaned over so his lips just barely touched Bertholdt's ear.   
“All that matters in this moment is that I won't hate you.” He laced his fingers with the longer fingers of the other boys and held their clasped hands to his chest. “I'll protect you from them all.”   
“Dammit.” Bertholdt whispered and he buried his head into the blonde boy's shoulder before he could see the hot tears that betrayed him. “Dammit Reiner.”

 

“I'll protect you from them all...” Reiner's voice stuck with him as he stood, looking up at the vast height of Wall Rose outside of Trost. His friends, no the cadets, we're behind that wall somewhere. Attending to their chores and duties. Annie...Reiner, we're both behind that wall. Waiting for what was to come next.   
Bertholdt slowly pulled off the 3D maneuver gear he wore and set it in a small alcove of the wall to be retrieved later and took a few steps back, gazing back up at the wall. His hands were shaking, almost violently, at his side and he set his jaw as fresh tears welled up.   
“We need to do this. Human kind must be wiped out behind these walls.” His voice was a croak. Betraying his feelings. He longed to be with the other cadets. Laughing with Marco and Armin. Sneaking little bits of his meal to Sasha when the others weren't looking. He longed to just be with Reiner at that moment. To act as if he was a soldier and nothing else.   
But it couldn't be done.   
He had to do this.   
With a long, wavering breath, he slowly raised his right hand to his mouth. Quickly, he thought, It'll only hurt for a second. His teeth sunk into the fleshy part of his thumb and the rush of blood filled his mouth.   
What came next was steam. Lots and lots of steam and the wall growing shorter. His ears rang from the crash of lightning that signified his titan form had been revealed. 

And he looked down on the form of Eren Jager. At the top of the wall. Possibly working on reinforcing cannons. He spied Connie, Marco and Sasha and more of his fellow cadets.   
No.  
Letting loose a large gust of superheated steam he watched his friends be blown off the wall. He hoped they got away. He didn't know why he hoped this. It was against his mission, but hope he did.   
Bracing himself on the inside, trying his best to just turn off his emotions, he gripped the wall. Morter and stone crumbling underneath the fingers. Slowly, his form so large that speed was impossible, he drew his foot back.   
Once again.   
Titan flesh connected with stone and with a large crack, the gate broke inwards. Boulders and stone spilling into the trenches built to fortify the other side.   
To the right!  
A figure, flying through the air aided by 3D maneuver gear, landed at the top of the wall again where the steam had cleared.   
Eren? Go away!  
Slowly. Painfully slowly he swept his gigantic arm across the top of the wall. Removing and destroying the cannons that the cadets we're previously working on. His arm came back with the hand destroyed. Steam pouring out from the wound as his bones reformed.   
There.   
The Jager boy was aiming for an attack. A killing blow. One last burst of steam and everything was out of site as Bertholdt escaped, his titan form disappearing in the steam. He landed roughly, rolling on the ground to absorb the fall, and he jumped to his feet. No time to waste. He needed to get back to his 3D gear and scale the wall and join is friends. No. The cadets. They can't be friends with someone like him.   
He felt the fatigue brought on by transforming into a titan, but he pushed past it and his long legs pumped as he ran for cover before the steam cleared. There! Behind an outcropping of the wall he flattened himself against the stone. He knew Eren was at the top of the wall. Incredulous at the colossal titans disappearence.   
Eren I'm so sorry.   
He let his breaths slow to a manageable pace before he inched his way to the spot he had left his gear. Wary of anyone spotting him at the top of the wall. Slowly and shakily he attached the components to his hips, and thought of his next move.   
He just wanted to get back to Reiner and Annie. He wanted to go back to pretending to be a soldier, and not someone who's guilty for killing so many people. He grit his teeth, hard enough to hurt, as he triggered his gear. He grappled up the side of the wall and quickly checking to see if his surroundings were clear at the top of the wall, he went off in a search for his friend.   
“Please protect me from myself Reiner.” 

There. He saw the form of the blonde in the alleyway up ahead. He was watching the evacuation. Families screaming. Soldiers belting out orders. The distant thunder of titan's footsteps. A stricken look was on Reiner's face. Bertholdt hesitated. Wondering if this was soldier Reiner or his friend.   
He placed a gentle hand on the blonde's shoulder and Reiner started quickly turning to face him. A quick flash lighted his eyes and Bertholdt suddenly found himself swept up in the stronger arms of Reiner and into a tight and desperate hug. He could feel his muscles move through the shirt of his uniform and Bertholdt leaned his head down so his forhead touched the other's.   
“It's done.” He whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around Reiner's broad shoulders. Hold the only person in this world he had and he unsuccessfully choked back a sob. “We're mass murderers....again.”   
“I know.” Reiner muttered into his shoulder.   
And they stood there for a moment. Forgetting the chaos. Forgetting the deeds.   
The moment passed and Reiner stepped back from Bertholdt. He left one hand on the taller boy's shoulder and gave it a reassure squeeze as another crooked grin spread across his features.   
“Lets go be soldiers.”


End file.
